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c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s - - [Sunday 02/10/2008 22:54]

first off, i want to start out congratulating Matt and Ginnie on their upcoming wedding. =3 tonight's party was awesome. good food and great company~

and speaking of which, Matt's family came from England as well including his two cousins, Chris (who plays guitar and is a complete metal head .. rock on >=D) and Daniel (who plays the drums .. and is only freaking 16 and is a good 7 or 8 inches taller than me, wtf?), are pretty kickass. our tastes in music mesh so well, even his uncle too haha. as soon as we were introduced, we pretty much clicked .. and once the subject of music came up, it was like staring into a version of myself that lived in Liverpool .. which is west .. no south .. no west .. no southwest .. of Manchester. rofl. we talked about all the shows we got to see. i told them about PR07 and seeing Muse play live (of which they freaked over .. i is found me some Muse fans~) .. and they got to see SO many bands i want to see play; like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Portishead, and the list goes oooonnnnnn.

yar ..

i don't want to go to school this week, i just want to hang out with Matt and his cousins, rofl. we're all gonna get together friday afternoon .. and perhaps i can coax a trip to England over the summer and I can crash with them .. perhaps catch a bunch of live shows (techno, rock, metal .. whatever is up and showing) and visit Glastenbury and rock to some shows there as well. it'll be something to look forward too, for sure.

a trip to England .. that'd be simply awesome. then i could check off one of the things on my "do things before i die" list rofl.

now i really don't want to go to sleep, i feel a need to rock out.

/grabs guitar and goes to play the G and D chords (.. i hate that i'm so slow at learning this ..)
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be . just . or . be . dead - - [Wednesday 01/30/2008 23:12]

(rofl at last second smile)

this will be me in a year .. maybe three .. rofl

i swear, when i watch these people play like this .. i have that insatiable need to get on my guitar .. but i'm so depressed at the fact that i can't rock out like that .. i have to contend myself to the dull drabs of minor chords .. grawr!

i wish i could take a sneak peak into the future like two years .. and see if i'm amazing at the guitar yet ..

Peace(of mind)


[edit in]
not but five minutes after this post, i had my first guitar string break on me .. during mid play too .. i thought it was quite epic at the time. all i could think of was "Wow, so that's what that's like? man, why was i even scared of that?" .. then i realized i was bleeding. rofl, it wasn't a big cut .. like a small paper cut that managed to get a bleed.

man, i've had her for just over a month, and she's already gotten me to bleed. crazy~
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loss . is . inspiration - - [Friday 01/25/2008 23:21]

when you lose something dear to you,
how do you respond?
are you stoic about it,
shrugging it off as if it were mere raindrops?
are you scientific about it,
wondering the conditions and the why's?
are you emotional about it,
feeling downtrodden into a state of depression?
or perhaps you take it personally,
burning everything in your path.

take a minute to think about it.

for me, loss will be inspiration.
i will turn loss into beauty.

it's almost charming,
the little things that change your mood.
"where the right four notes will make you cry."
or provide that ever slight glimmer of a smile.

i love you, in the deepest sense.
with you, and through you,
no loss will tie me down.

Peace(of cake)


.. it felt good to write something again.

[edit in]

diana called me after she got off work at 11:51pm. but what amazes me is that she wanted to hang out and watch a movie, and came to a conclusion that it be Pirates 3. it was just great, a couple of nerds sitting on a couch reminiscing about old movies as we half watch the movie before us.

i don't think she'll ever know how much she's brightened my day.

.. err, night.

.. morning.

.. shut up.

so yes, it's 4 in the morning and i'm due at work in about two and a half hours .. mm .. it was worth it though.

[edit edit in]

/facedesk .. serious?
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c a n c e r o u s - - [Tuesday 01/22/2008 22:53]

first off, rinku is reborn.
[rinku 1]
[rinku 7]
[rinku 7.1]
yes, i reactivated my account .. but only for two to three months. i would like to see some people follow suit, but i highly doubt it's occurance .. they're either addicted to something or are too stuck up and won't even speak so i can tell them the news .. both cases, i don't particularly care for. i miss your company, but "friend "ship goes both ways.


[diana] and i hung out monday night and it was pretty awesome overall, albeit, we didn't do much. we originally planned the night to be full of DDR. she hasn't played in forever .. and i was eager enough to spend another entire night for it. the funny thing is, as soon as she gets to FVACS, it closed up for the night. but fear not, back up plans were in place. we went to the mall and we did get ONE game in .. until the pad decided to die on us. so as the arcade lady repaired it, we walked around the mall, talking about what's been going on with life.

we ended up sitting down in the nearby parent/kid playpen thing and continued talking, all the while, both of us were tempted to climb on all the slides XD but the sign said "YOU CANNOT!" /cry. but as we sat there, we talked about different things, like, but not limited to, musical learnings and how entertaining pets were. X3 now i really want to get a cat now. wah.

XD we apparently talked so long, that the mall had began to close down .. so we scurried to the next place before they closed down, which was barnes and noble. we got something to drink and sat down to read books about the science of names and relationships .. and she got a book about cancers, that she would not let me see what she was reading.

both books were really interesting. the first broke down a person's name into it's core parts, like mine was a "CHRS" type and it would go on to explain what the signicifance of the name was and it's relevancy to how the person would tend to act. the latter, not only compared people's relationships by the standard zodiac signs, but also by the week they were born. like i am a scorpio I .. and she's a cancer III .. and we joked about how scintillatingly hawt the entry was XD.

but, smoke screens are the biggest weakness. no smoke screens plzkthx!

anywho, the bookstore was closing down, but we continued our night by going to my place and hanging out for a few hours; music, youtube videos, how pretty her hands were (rofl..), and a trip to waffle house at 1:30 in the morning pretty much comprised it up. X3 man, i've really got a sick addiction to girls singing songs next to me .. as she was bouncing around my iPood, from Panic at the Disco to some Paramore and a little Evanescence .. she just sang along .. unknowing that i was making a giant "X3" face inside my mind.

and yes, i'm taking you up on that offer .. once i become fluent in my guitar rockstardom skills and start to form a band, you can be the singer.

as a side note: you know what .. the fact that someone can pick up the dnd book i was using as a mousepad .. look at me and NOT give me some wierd look is just amazing~

mm, it was nice just to be able to sit down for so long and talk with someone like that, i really missed that.

/sigh .. cancers .. /facedesk

Peace(of mind)

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y o u r . m u s e - - [Tuesday 01/15/2008 23:56]

fear denies FAITH

"the most audacious thing i could possibly state
in this day and age is that life is worth living.
it's worth being bashed against.
it's worth getting scarred by.
it's worth pouring yourself over every one of its hot coals."

--jeff buckley

Peace(of cake)

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f e a r . d e n i e s . f a i t h - - [Sunday 01/13/2008 0:26]

i said i would post this:

"rice is going to be the cure of AIDS or cancer .. just watch."
--Chris Jan 12th, 2008

listen, please don't be a stranger.
i want to help and would like yours.

Peace(of cake)

i smoke your brand of cigarettes, and pray that you might give me a call.
i lie around on bed all day, just staring at the walls.
hanging 'round the bars at night, wishing i had never been born.
give myself to anyone who wants to take me home ..
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n e w . f r e e d o m - - [Saturday 12/22/2007 14:19]

winter break is awesome. sleeping in has probably been my favorite part. and better yet, i don't work Christmas Eve for once!

speaking of work .. i meet a lot of people there, but none that really grab my attention away as this one today did. too bad i don't live in atlanta. hrm.

and yes, i got a new PC for christmas. here are the spec's that mike helped me build:

[ASUS Maximus Forumula Intel x38 Motherboard]
[Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 (effective 2.4GHz) **]
[a pair of 150GB Raptor X Harddrives]
[Highpoint RocketRAID Controller]
[2GB of Corsair Dominator DDR2 1066 Memory **]
[Antec TruePower Quatro 1000W Power Supply]
[Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel Case]
[ZALMAN 92mm Fan with Heat Sink]
[EVGA GeForce 8800GT @ 512MB, 256-bit, GDDR3, and PCI-Express 2.0]

and to make it look all pretty:
[BenQ FP2222W 22" LCD Widescreen Monitor]

as of 3am last night, it is currently sitting in mike's dining room after finishing a grueling SIX hour operation (we kept getting distracted by awesome standups on TV) crunching numbers so all the parts can set in. tonight, mike and i plan to overclock the HELL out of it, as the parts were designed to be overclocked. this computer is going to be a beast in a steel case. i can't wait to see what it can do. high definition TV, audio, and extreme performance in games .. i've just got <3 all over it.


this new year's is gonna be a freaking blast as well. Chairleg is doing a show at The Playground downtown on the night of new year's and they're performing in like some kind of contest where the bands can only play covers. a couple of the songs they chose are really cool, and a couple just make me wanna laugh just thinking about it.

they're also writing a new song .. rest assured, that it's going to be made of both epic and win. it was awesome to see the whole song writing process .. and how it entails a lot of name calling and frustration haha, but everyone still has a good time and gets things done.

so .. go to the show, hell i'll take you .. you might even get in free if you're with me.


whatever happened to "i'll call you later, k?"

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t w e n t y . f o u r - - [Wednesday 12/12/2007 23:02]

twenty four more hours to go. by this time tomorrow, my winter break will have officially began. it's like that one show .. with the clock .. about twenty four hours .. i dunno. i can see that clock in my head just going "beep, beep, beep".

as for the last couple days, i've been pouring hours of my life into studying for computer architecture's final (of which i know i did well on) .. and the projects associated with that class (of which, i know i'm NOT doing so well on). i managed to get the first one done, but the third one is proving to be way too much trouble, requiring a level of java coding i've not yet experienced with. /facedesk ..

but other than that .. things are "fine". managable, would be a better word for it.

a last supper has been called forth by Tommy .. which'll take place at lunchish time on friday. we plan to do the same thing we did last semester and stuff our faces with as much teriyaki chicken in under fifteen minutes. as long as he doesn't mention the whole cat thing again, i think this time it'll go in a much more enjoyable manner, lol.


on the other front, things are still the same as they were since summer's end, for the most part. although, i've been thinking a little bit about someone; her name's Diana. yeah, i know ..

"numbers don't lie" as they say, i'm sure.


sooooo, this leaves me to a point, again, where i'm still not happy with the way things are. holding onto Tish's advice has become more of a burden with each day, as the constant stream of rejection has made me come to believe that i'm as deep as a small puddle and about as interesting as one. but whatever, like i said before, winter break comes soon. it'll cure many things; stress, my inability to sleep, lonliness. once i can cure those three ailments, i'm sure written lines like these will appear less frequently.

so, i'll raise my cup high in hopes for some christmas cheer.

Peace(of cake)

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t o . t h e . e n d - - [Monday 12/10/2007 10:06]

good luck on finals this week. some of you have already finished them, and i envy you at the moment. i'm not looking forward to the next 3-4 sleepless nights at the GTech lab. i hate being in that lab, it makes me feel miserable as i'm frantically trying to put everything together.


winter break comes soon, and thus, relief. all my time can be devoted, and that makes me happier than anything i can recently remember. i have much to say, but no way to output it. but when i'm done, i can open the window and pour everything into the "words" i hold. oh how they'll be beautiful .. because i wrote them. but back to reality and to where i am now .. G, G, G, G, D, D, D, D, E, E, E, E ..

"Easter Bunnies Get Drunk At Easter"
great words to live by. hah.

Peace(of cake)

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d i l e t t o . s t r a o r d i n a r i o - - [Friday 11/30/2007 23:44]

if you have something to confess,
do it now.
give yourself some peace.

of course i knew god had arranged it all.
it was obvious.
one minute i was a frustrated boy, in an obscure little town,
then next, i was here.

but what did it matter?
he adored my music ..
everybody liked me,
i liked myself.

and then he came ..

(my music, it started without me.)

what was god up to?

my heart was filling up with such hatred for the man.
for the first time in my life,
i began to know really violent thoughts.

all i ever wanted was to sing to god.
he gave me that longing,
then made me mute!

tell me that.

if he didn't want me to appraise him with music,
why implant this desire?
like a lust in my body,
and then deny me the talent!

(naturally, the italians. of course!)
(always the italians .. they're all musical idiots!)

and you want them to judge my music?

because you chose for your instrument
a boastful, lustful, smutty, infantile boy
and give me for the reward,
only the ability to recognize the incarnation,
because you are unjust!
unfair! unkind!
i will block you, i swear it!

(maestro salieri, at last, such immense joy.)

diletto straordinario
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I . S . F . J - - [Tuesday 11/27/2007 3:09]

blah, so it's been like two or three weeks since i last updated here.

i don't really know what to say. my gobl-day wasn't terribly exciting, as i worked most of it .. but since then, the turkey-sammich count has risen to a hefty twelve .. dozen .. i dunno, i lost count. also watched a kung fu movie with matt .. it was an old jackie chan movie .. omg, it was so horrible lol.

matt also has a new [cat] as well .. who's has grown quite fond of my hoodie (hm .. familiar ..). it's funny to watch him run around just because he can .. then all of a sudden stop and just look around, as if to say "wait, did i leave the gas on? .. .. .. of course not, because i'm a cat!" and then continue where he left off.

what else, what else

a door re-opened with one friend .. yet i still fear the worst, i'm afraid.

and i'm unwilling to return to the tree for another.


okay, i have to return to my paper before i spend more time on this. i'll return back with some exciting news, hopefully. and maybe a few new pictures .. i still need new profile pictures /sigh.

Peace(of mind)

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y o u r . h a n d . i n . m i n e - - [Sunday 11/11/2007 19:33]


next weekend i'll make a purchase for my guitar.

she'll need a name, though.

/ponder ..

Peace(of cake)

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m . n a m e s - - [Saturday 11/03/2007 22:58]

so as the title suggests, i've fallen for another m-named band. honestly, if a band were to just name themselves like "mmmmmm" or "the m's", i'd be crazy about them. but never the less, it's "Matchbook Romance" that has taken my attention as of now. quiet, i know what you're going to say, but this band has much potential. their first six songs on their album are very amazing, and with a little more time spent together, i believe that if they produce another album, it will be something very much worth listening to.

i've also listening to a few other new bands as well. "IAMX", "As Blood Runs Black", and i'm still trying to get my hands on a copy of "By the Sins Fell Angels". from pop-punk, to electronic, to metalcore and it's various forms (mathcore and melodic metal) .. i'm starting to like how my taste in music is starting to shift into.

i also asked one of the guitarists from "Chairleg" to see if he'll help me out in choosing a guitar for me. i'm getting like this intense urge to want to learn to play a guitar and i think this will be my opportunity. here's hoping he'll help me out =3


as i lay on the couch, i rest my head on her lap. she doesn't even stop reading her book, she just scratches the top of my head and i get the comforting feeling that everything's okay in the world. i could lay there for days.

i've been having a running dream now .. it's of the same moment, but the details of who are always fuzzy. one of those "just as you see their face, you wake up" kinda disappointing ones. but it's not really the who, that's the concern, but the feeling that's most important. i don't like waking from those dreams, but what can you do. i suppose that's the reason they call them dreams. brawr, i dunno.


i also don't like what my horoscope says for monday: in short, things are going to flare up in a meta-physical sense, be it love or anger ..

/sigh .. oh god, what's going to happen to me then to make things worse?

Peace(of mind)

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god . called . in . sick . today - - [Monday 10/29/2007 23:44]

so yes, i'm actually surprised some of you remembered. in actuality, it was probably facebook reminding you .. but i'll take what i can get. thanks.

so .. yeah, as i'm watching the last fifteen minutes of my birthday tick away, i've been asked what i wanted to do. and to be honest, i'm not sure. the last couple years, i would make plans and no one would show.

so i suppose with that in mind, if you want to do something with me in celebration this coming weekend, you can get in touch with me and we can plan accordingly. with that being said, here are my current plans for this weekend and where I'M going to want to be:

1a) Best Buy
1b) Fort Gordon's PX
2) MovieStop
3) Mall
(to finally buy some things i've been waiting to buy; including an xBox360, Halo 3, Beautiful Katamari, Spider-Man 3, and maybe some new shirts; and make plans on items that i will start preparing to buy; of which include a new 20-inch-ish LCD TV with HDMI and PC inputs (component optional))
(since the last two weeks have been very lack-luster for DDR)

Peace(of mind)

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l i b e r a t e . y o u r s e l f - - [Sunday 10/28/2007 23:43]

so bloodfest at sector 7g was pretty fun saturday night. i got to hear a band that sounds very guilty gear-ish, they're called "By the Sins Fell Angels" .. sadly, they left before i could snag a copy of their album .. and i lost the poster that i managed to sneak away from the place ._. -- BUT pictures to come later~

afterwards was great too.

when the show was done, Mike and i fled the scene to the e.b. games he reserved his copy of guitar hero 3 at. sadly, when he called, they said they were packing up. to further try his luck, he tried calling the other e.b. .. and to our surprise, they said "if you aren't here in ten minutes, we're locking up". with that being said and the look of ultimate destiny in Mike's face, we floored it to the store from downtown augusta.

but we made it.

we spent ALL night playing it too. we were trying our hardest to unlock "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce .. but we later found out that the co-op mode we were doing doesn't unlock it. upset at this finding, we called it a night and i headed home to shower, think about sleeping, and then head to work.

oh and pictures to come from THIS as well.
i think i found a new profile picture~ =3

i'll let you guess. what do you think i did after work? .. hell yeah, i drove myself to Mike's house to play guitar hero 3. and JUST as i walked into his place .. the words "Congratulations, You've Unlocked "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce" made it's way across the screen and into our hearts. that song ended up being played atleast thirty times (including failed attempts).

the great thing is, however, we recorded ourselves playing it .. so you'll get to enjoy laughing at Mike and i as we basically indulge ourselves in a musical suicide and play the song on expert mode. i'll upload them later when i get the files from him. focus less on the song and more on the grimmaces of immense pain shooting through our arms when we play the songs XD lol.


i think i will..

Peace(of hope)

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b l o o d f e s t - - [Thursday 10/25/2007 20:34]

bloodfest is coming.

mike and his band Chairleg will be performing there at sector 7g and i'm gonna be there front and center.

i don't know what it is, but i'm now going through a huge obsession with live music performances. good performances.

like .. i plan on seeing Muse play .. although not quite how i'd like it to be. i'm also tempted to go see Explosions in the Sky play, since they are very close, but i have no one to take to go see. if someone wants to go, it'll be my treat as i would love to see them play and want others to know about them. they have a show in columbia, sc (if i remember correctly) on november the 9th .. which is a saturday. if you're interested, lemme know.

i'll be back later.

Peace(of mind)


/sigh .. i shouldn't drink anymore
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p r o p h e t i c - - [Wednesday 10/24/2007 0:06]

so why are you avoiding me?
we were all friends before;
we shared laughs and raised our glasses high.

but not anymore.
and that's fine.
i get it.

you said you were shallow before, but now i believe you.

Peace(of cake)

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p i z z a & c o f f e e - - [Sunday 10/21/2007 16:31]

old flames are hard to put out, it seems.
unable to break this fixating spell on me.

i wonder if it'll go down tonight.

Peace(of mind)


[several hours later]
well, perhaps it's better it didn't.
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o h . h e l l . y e a h - - [Saturday 10/20/2007 0:00]

oh no .. Nippon Ichi has done it again.


it's a cheesy story line .. you're a hero who gets possessed by the fallen god of destruction. and as he waits for you to die so he may fully take control of your body, you're tossed into a "save the world" storyline by creating an ARMY (rather than just a group of people) to protect it. but when things get very dire, Gig offers to help, and with it, you become as powerful as he is, but at a very steep cost afterwards. why he helps you when he WANTS you to die is beyond me at the moment, but it's probably explained in the game.

my gaming spirit is getting a metaphorical hard-on just reading more and more about it. i thought i'd die and go to heaven after playing Disgaea 2 .. but they've managed to make ANOTHER game. no wonder they call themselves "Japan's Best"

i guess i'm making a trip to the mall tomorrow.

Peace(of cake)

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n e r d - - [Friday 10/19/2007 13:33]

oh god, i'm nerding out. i just got my hands on an account so i can play team fortress 2. the random moments of adrenaline rushes are great X3 .. man, so lame lol.

i can't wait to try Portals next.


so, something equally as nerdy .. my wanting to pass max300 like it was white whale. i got a 350 combo on it last saturday (i have a witness, Danny can attest to it), but i failed the song almost immediately after because i was freakin' out over the combo. /sigh .. my focus needs sharpening.

so yes, this saturday will be my redeeming night. time to flush my system with sugar.

Peace(of cake)

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